Movie-Holic

There are characters in films that are almost timeless. But, there are only a few characters that have the power to control your life through events in a movie. One of those ways that they can control you is through your fears. Three incredibly powerful movie boogeymen, that can control your life, make you look under your bed, and in your closets, before going to bed are Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, and Mike Myers.

Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, and Halloween are the pinnacle of horror movies because of these characters. I would dare to say that in the world of horror movies there just isn’t any other ‘boogeyman’ type characters as captivating as these three. You could make some sort of argument for Leatherface, Pinhead, or Candyman, but in as far as scare factor goes, it begins and ends with the top three of Jason, Freddy, and Michael.

Each one brings their own “thing” to the table where scaring you is concerned. Freddy comes at you in your dreams, Jason finds you no matter where you hide, and Mike is the shadow in the corner, or in the closet. No place is safe. You can’t sleep, hide, or run. They are always there.

But, for years the question has always been, “Which one would win if they all fought?”

And an explosive question it is! Everyone has their favorite. There are raving fans for Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, and Mike Myers and each one has their own opinion as to who would win in a super throwdown between these three. If you want to take the whole Freddy vs. Jason as concrete evidence as to who would win, that is always an option. However, I would like to think that the cage match between these three would be much better than that.

But, in the face of fairness let’s take a look at all three and a boogeyman tale of the tape.

Jason Voorhees

Jason Voorhees is just plain scary.

He’s intimidating, he’s merciless, he’s relentless. He stalks you until he finds you. With whatever he can find he will impale, cut, or chop you into little pieces and leave you there. I remember the first time I ever watched a Friday the 13th movie. I wouldn’t shut the lights off in my room for months. Every time I saw a shadow, or thought something moved in the corner of my eye, I was ready to run screaming.

Growing up as on the banks of Crystal Lake couldn’t have been all that much fun. Especially after you drowned as a young boy. Talk about issues. I can see wanting to get back at all the camp counselors – they would be the epitome of evil to Jason – but, why New York, or space? Because he can.

Strong, brutish, and absolutely, maniacal in the way he pursues his victims, Jason Voorhees must be seen as a top contender.

Freddy Krueger

I must say at the start that the Nighmare on Elm Street movies never did scare me. I got the whole stalk you in your dreams bit, but it just never really scared me. As far as movie boogeymen go, Freddy is one of those that ranks at the top.

He is quite insane. If anything, when I watched the various Nightmare on Elm Street movies, I had to laugh. Some of the things that Freddy does is very imaginative and funny. He comes at you when you least expect it, because… well, you’re dreaming. The premise, or the thought of someone stalking you in your dreams is terrifying in itself. A crazy guy, with blades for his fingers on a glove, chasing you around in your dreams… that is even more insanely scary.

I remember watching one of the installments of the series in the movie theater. The first time Freddy made an appearance the entire theater erupted in applause and cheering. From then on it was like a sporting event. Every time Freddy registered a kill the crowd cheered. One guy was yelling out the score. “Freddy 4, Victims 0!”

It was really pretty weird.

Anyway, in the middle of a cage match, with the likes of the unearthly strong Jason and Michael, would he survive as the ultimate fighter?

Michael Myers

The first time I saw the original Halloween, it left an indelible mark. I viewed Halloween completely different. I wasn’t all that worried the rest of the year, but when the Halloween holiday came around, I started to look around corners, under my bed, and in the bushes. The Michael Myers character was simply overpowering during the last days of October.

Halloweenhas, I think, a little more scare factor to it because of the fact that Myers is a person. He is not an undead kid with issues, or a burnt up psycho who preys upon dreams – he was a regular child who snapped.

Like Jason, he wears a mask that is synonymous terror. The start white mask almost appears out of nowhere and elicits emotions of fear and a “deer in the headlights” posture. Michael Myers, like Jason, is relentless. He stalks his victims with a determination that is not to be altered. Granted, the large majority of the population is fairly safe (unless you get in his way). Myers is only concerned with his family.

With whatever is available, he will find a way to use it to impale, cut, slice, dice, and gouge you with it. He does prefer large, sharp knives though. In a battle of the top boogemen, would his mystique carry him through?

The Battle of all Battles

Unlike the movie version of the Freddy vs. Jason battle, I envision a match between these three as the definition of mayhem. Slashing, cutting, loss of limbs, and beheading is in order. I see the two behemoths duking it out while Freddy slashes with his knife glove on the outside in quick strikes. I do not see Freddy wanting go to toe to toe with either Jason or Michael.

The fight would encompass a wide area with a lot of different utensils, tools, and materials to throw, smash, and impale each other with. Jason, Michael, and Freddy locked in a duel until one remains – or at least pieces remain. Who would it be?

And The Winner Is…

In a battle such as this you must think about the attributes of each. The biggest is that they do not die. You must dismember each one. Would Freddy be able to do that? With is knives he could, but what if Michael or Jason cut it off? Then what? He could grow a new one, but I think with these two it wouldn’t be soon enough.

I believe that Jason and Michael would team up to get rid of the annoying little Krueger and his slash attacks. Then turn their attention to each other. It would be epic. A battle of all battles. In the end, after the dust (and the blood) has settled there can only be one.

Who would it be?

In my opinion, the nod goes to Jason Voorhees. He is a powerhouse and will continue to unleash freakishly ridiculous damage to Michael until he no longer had a shape or form.

Thoughts? What do you think? Please discuss…